How to Duck a Suckah by Big Boom

Author:Big Boom
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2008-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

EIGHT

Cheating

HAS LOVE CHANGED?

I have a question for you: Has love changed from the olden days? Have we lied about it so much that it doesn’t mean anything to us? Back in my grandmother’s day, they talked about only one love and this was unconditional love. In this day and time, I hear tell of ten or twelve different types of love relationships. In the old days, ladies weren’t desperate and loose as some women are today. Back in the day, it would almost be a witch hunt to mess with somebody’s husband and get pregnant by him. Stealing someone’s man or woman was like stealing a vehicle: You knew when they caught you, you were going to have to give it back and you would pay the penalty. Depending on the judge, heaven knows what that would be.

WATCH FOR THE TELLTALE SIGNS.

A man messing around in his relationship is kind of like him buying an extra car. You could owe $20,000 on your old car, but you are ready for a new one because you think the old one is falling apart. They’ll tack on the old bill to the new bill. Now, seven or eight years have passed by, and he still wants another car. He is still upside down on the second car, and he has gotten tired of it. Now he wants a third one. It’s just like paying taxes. They’ll put interest on it, and all that leads to a lot of stress. Tell you what, my player skills were so cold that I used to get lipstick on my shirt and stop at the store and get a loaf of bread. I know what you are thinking, “What are you going to do, eat your shirt?” You-all don’t understand how a player’s mind works. The bread has yeast in it and yeast removes lipstick from the shirt. This is an old trick that my grandmother taught me while teaching me how to cook. She didn’t know she was training a player. You take light bread and rub it on the spot of lipstick and it removes the lipstick. One time, I didn’t wipe all the crumbs off my shirt, and I had to meet my girlfriend for lunch and she was wondering, “Why are all the birds following you around?” I had to go into player mode, so I replied, “They came with me to sing you a song.” All she could do was smile and hold her hand on her heart, not knowing she had just been played. A lot of brothers didn’t know that. So from now on check for crumbs on your man’s shirt, or look outside to see if the birds are following him around.

Here is another suckah trick. I was going out every night, and my wife at the time had asthma and could not stand the smell of smoke. I had to get in the shower as soon as I walked in. This gave me a perfect excuse after leaving another woman’s house without her ever being suspicious.

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